Move Beyond All the Handcrafted Cheese: France's Crisps Represent Absolutely Decadent.
Over the holidays, I was staying in France, an area that appeared on its best behaviour. Discreet, sparkling decorations, market stalls overflowing with beautifully vibrant produce, and such an abundance of fromage capable of clogging every mile of the Chunnel with cholesterol. Overflowing trays of glistening shellfish on ice visible behind misty restaurant glass. As I watched a extended but civil procession of elegant residents retrieving their artisanal *Bûche de Noël*, I thought, disloyally, that my place of origin, York, which turns into a present-day version of a tableau of excess during the festive season complete with mince-pie flavoured vapes and BuzzBallz, might benefit from some pointers.
The Elegant Facade
Yet every bit of “art de vivre” stuff is just a refined front – The country is as prey to its basest appetites as the rest of us. Merely enter a supermarket and you’ll see. The snack food corridor constitutes a temple of indulgence, crammed with flavours including Roquefort, falafel, beer-braised beef and savory dairy fat profiles. What kind of person consumes chips that taste of butter? It is reminiscent of a product found at those infamous American fairs where they deep fry sticks of butter. One popular comic has asserted they are the ultimate chip she has ever sampled, however she has undoubtedly fallen victim to some kind of Breton brainwashing – she grew up in *Bretagne*.
Worldwide Anarchy
It is widely understood the snack flavour business worldwide is just as anarchic as major tech firms. No one will allow the humble spud to shine on its own, enhanced only as necessary with just a dignified dusting of salt. Our own nation possesses a checkered past when it comes to snack tastes in the UK, especially at this time of year. The year 2025, let us not forget, gave us gingerbread Doritos and exclusive steak-and-pâté flavoured chips. And who could forget the occasion when a well-known shop believed “festive fizz and berries” constituted a desirable taste on a potato chip? I expected more of the land of Escoffier.
What next? *Pâté*-flavoured snacks? Cream puff crisps? Cigarette-tasting crisps? I must cease, I’m only giving them ideas.
